”To bring attention to any person or situation, you must be present to yourself, to the other person, and to the situation at hand. To be present, you cannot have an agenda of your own. If you have expectations of yourself, of another, or of the situation in general, you cannot be fully attentive in that moment. Your ability to be attentive depends on having an open mind, a mind that is free of judgment and free of expectation. Equally important is having an open heart, which requires compassion for yourself and others, and forgiveness for the events of the past. Having an open heart means approaching others as equals and looking for common ground, opening to the intimacy and communion that are available there.
The door to love opens and closes as you open and close your mind and your heart. When the door closes, one needs to be patient and forgiving, or it may not open again.
One needs to feel not only the presence of love, but its absence as well. Feeling its absence, one learns to listen, and to soften in the heart. Feeling separate from others, one learns to look for the subtle judgments that are being made.
Every experience of separation or judgment is an opportunity to open to love’s presence. Mentally, this involves moving away from fixed perceptions and their justifications. Emotionally, it means feeling the effect of separation: your own pain and the pain of another.
The shift from judgment to acceptance, from separation to empathy is the essence of healing. When you are unable to make this shift, you establish the conditions for dis-ease in the mind/body field. All of you need to begin to learn to shift from dis-ease to ease, from constriction to openness, from distrust to trust. You need to learn to demonstrate peace by transforming “defensive” postures into a “receptive” ones, to demonstrate harmony in your relationships by transforming “exclusive” thoughts and actions to “inclusive” ones.
Being a healer or miracle worker means accepting your inherent capacity to be free of conflict, free of guilt, free of judgment or blame. If you accept this capacity in yourself, you will demonstrate miracles in your life just as I did.
I have told you many times that you can do this. Healing is not only possible, it is necessary. Every one of you is a healer of your own perceived injuries and injustices, and a witness to the power of the miracle. Healing is your only purpose here. The sooner you realize it the better.
Please remember that all authentic spiritual practice begins with the cultivation of love for and acceptance of yourself. Don’t try to love other people before you learn to love yourself. You won’t be able to do it.
When someone comes into your life who pushes all your buttons, don’t try to love that person. Just don’t dump on him. Don’t accuse him, blame him or make him an enemy. Simply acknowledge that he pushes your buttons and ask for time to be with your feelings.
When you are alone, remind yourself that what you are feeling belongs to you only. He other person has nothing to do with what you are feeling. Disengage from all thoughts that would make the other person responsible for what you are feeling.
Now be with your feeling and say to yourself; “what I am feeling shows me some aspect of myself which I am judging. I want to learn to accept all aspects of myself. I want to learn to bring love to all the wounded parts of me.”
Now you have come to the place of genuine transformation. Now you are ready to bring love into your heart. Practice this again and again and be patient with yourself. Don’t try to heal your brothers and sisters and the world around you before you have learned to bring love into your own heart. That attempt leads to failure and more self-judgment.
Be compassionate with yourself. Take small steps. Begin healing your own thoughts and feelings. Every time you heal a judgmental thought or feeling of separation, it is felt by every mind and heart in the universe. Your healing belongs not just to you, but to all beings.
When you come to peace, world peace becomes immanent. If you have a responsibility to others it is only this one; that you come to peace in your own heart and mind.
Some people think that such advice is selfish and irresponsible. They believe that they must save the world to find happiness. That is an error in perception. Unless they find happiness first, the world is doomed.
This may be hard for you to hear, but it is the truth. Unless you are happy now, you will never find happiness. So if you are not happy now, stop trying to find happiness in the future and bring your attention to the present moment. That is where your happiness is.
An open heart and an open mind are the door that opens to love’s presence. Even when the door is closed, it bids you open it. Even when you are judging and feeling separate from another, love calls to you from within.
I have told you that, no matter how many times you have refused to enter the sanctuary, you have only to knock and the door will be opened to you. I have said to you “ask, and it shall be given you,” but you refuse to believe me.
You think that someone is counting your sins, your moments of indecision or recalcitrance, but it is not true. You are the only one counting. I say to you, brother, “stop counting, stop making excuses, stop pretending that the door is locked. I am here at the threshold. Reach out and take my hand and we will open the door and walk through together.”
I am the door to love without conditions. When you walk through, you too will be the door.”
Source – Love without conditions – Paul Ferrini
